OK, here is the thing I want to share and kick off 2009 with. We all create our own realities. Laurel Lee has this wonderful saying:

“I know I don’t see the world as it is, I see the world as I am.”

I have espoused this perspective often over the years, but it really hit me between the eyes in 2008. It came to me I think, because I am vulnerable – a place I find very uncomfortable. Interesting, it is often said “there is no comfort in learning and no learning in comfort!”

Last year, saw me pondering life, love and the universe and right at the end of 2008 I experienced a dose of clarity like I had never experienced before. Everything in my life is going through change right now.

This is how it is panning out for me. My business: one of my major clients experienced two (2) workplace deaths in 2008 and this has changed the lives of many (including me) forever and has changed the way the business now operates. My life: by 2 degrees of separation I am feeling the consequences of Rio Tinto retrenching their workers, one of my team is experiencing this change first hand as her husband loses his job, and my girlfriend’s daughter loses hers. I read in the paper that BHP is retrenching 6,000 people, what effect might this have on a couple of my other clients and therefore me? China is putting the brakes on some of its projects so I am wondering how this will flow into my business and therefore affect my life? Another friend of mine is missing, as his business is wiped out through the current economic doom and gloom. Love: I am leaving my 18 year relationship to set off on a solo path. No-one else is involved; this is all about me. I believe there has to be more to a relationship than I have and I want to experience this in my lifetime. Oh-my-gawd!

As I transition through all this change, I am attracting people into my life that are proving to be quite the catalyst for enabling this version of my transformation. I have heard the saying “when the learner is ready, the teacher appears.” Well, I am in learning over-drive, perhaps even learning saturation right now – my head is spinning and I am putting the brakes on, because it is all too much! Huh? How does that work when learning for life, purportedly underpins everything I am about, I hear you say?

Well, because the teachers are interesting; they see themselves as ’spiritual beings’ and knower’s of stuff that I do not know. But, knowing stuff that has a faith / metaphysical basis as opposed to an empirical basis really is simply a point of view and if their point of view has to be right, what does that make mine? Wrong, according to them and when I try to debate, discuss, rationalise or analyse, I am told I am in denial. I have been told I am a co-dependent, enabling the addictions of some close to me, I repress my children’s thoughts and ability to free speak and I am a control freak. Are you getting the picture? I am hoping you are starting to see how exhausting this has been and how it served my path to vulnerability. Am I those things? Yes, with introspection probably, to some degree.

So there I was, left pondering again. Everything I thought I was everything I thought I had achieved; my growth and learning both personally and professionally seemed to be stripped away and I was left questioning my very world, my existence when it became clear. Eleanor Roosevelt once said “no-one can make you feel inferior without consent.” So why was I allowing these people to affect me in this way? Therefore, what was the lesson I needed to learn, why were these people in my face?

It is all in the delivery… They may have a very important message to share, but if it is not delivered in a way that is conducive to learning then no matter how important the message the learning is not going to occur. It is arrogant to suggest that just because you or I have an opinion that the rest of the universe will jump to attention.

So I get that my world is just that, mine. It is based on my experiences, my frame of reference, my view of others and my view of me. My world, therefore my reality is mine. Just as yours is yours. So I am not right or wrong, nor are you right or wrong. Your reality is yours and my reality is mine and we should respect that, provide tolerance to other points of view and debate and challenge respectfully that view point to reach mutual agreement and understanding.

So to my spiritual friends I say “thank you for your perspective and thank you for sharing your view of the world, and what I have learned the most from this experience is to honour the reality of others and trust and honour my own reality, trust and honour myself.”

2009 will therefore, see my facilitative and coaching skills sharpened because I so get it is all about the learner, never about the teacher!

Hmmmm lifelong learning at its best…

I accidentally deleted some comments when I was getting rid of some of the spam that this blog site receives – oops, sorry about that!

Di

What is life going to look like in 2009?  I am sure we all ponder something similar every new year. For me, I know that life is going to be quite different than it was in 2008.  My business is changing, my life is changing, people around me are changing and I have changed!  I think I have finally worked out what I want to be when I grow up and 2009 will see me implement these changes.  As part of this change, I am revamping my web site and along with that change this blog will change also.  So change is a plenty … for me, life and business… so stay tuned.