FELLOWSHIP of Females

I was having lunch with the girls recently, a bunch of seven fabulous women, when I noticed that there were many other tables of women of varying age groups out to lunch also. Lunch with the girls is a ritual, something we are initiated into at a very early age and continue on until we can’t anymore. We lunch in packs, never less than four and often well over eight. And therein lies the essence of the ritual, the power of the pack!

You see, lunch with the girls serves many purposes but none more important than having a forum to discuss relationships. We were a mix of women at the lunch and whilst there were many topics we could and did discuss the main topic was men and relationships. Out of the seven of us, only one is married, two have never married and are not in a relationship, I have left the relationship and the rest are in various states of new relationships.

We are all successful business women, yet the predominant topic at lunch was men! Are we, as women then, not really happy unless we are in a relationship? And if we are not in a relationship and we say we are happy, are we really? For me, this is a bit confronting given I am embarking on a solo journey, what if I will never be happy? Are there degrees of happiness?

The Dalai Lama says “we are simply on this earth to be happy” so maybe we need to ponder the following questions: (1) what is happiness; and (2) when am I most happy?

It is useful to listen to the language we use when talking about happiness to determine ‘when am I most happy.’ Is our language (therefore our happiness) based in the past - “I was so happy when we had the house down south and I didn’t have to worry about xyz” or future oriented – “I will be really happy when the kids are finished at school and I can take that holiday I have been yearning for years.”

True happiness or authentic happiness is appreciating the here and now, finding happiness in every day simple things such as I am happy to be alive, I am happy to have a roof over my head, I am happy I can make fantastic pancakes and enjoy good coffee in the mornings. Happiness is not authentic if it is conditional. That is, happiness can not be based on something else needing to happen such as “I will be happy when I lose those extra 10 kilos, I can only be happy if you do this, or give me that.” Being happy is a choice. For me, I am happy to simply give life a go – Que Sera Sera!

This is why you have lunch with the girls, to ponder these types of questions. The lunch part of lunch with the girls is really inconsequential. Lunch with the girls is not about the food (although it has to be good) it is the collective support and nurturing we offer to each other. Lunch with the girls is the best therapy session any of us can partake in. And lunch with the girls also expands our social networks as we each invite someone from our pack to join us for lunch in another pack therefore connecting with other women and broadening perspective.

Is it any wonder women are much better than men when it comes to emoting and talking about life, love and the universe? We have been practising over lunch for years!

Lunch with the girls? Absolutely! Now that thought makes me happy…

Favourite lunch spots: Tell me about your fav spots, these are mine…

The Subiaco Hotel, The Ess Bar – Subiaco, The Raffles Hotel (Tapas Bar and Deco) – Applecross, Cocos – South Perth, The Botanica – Innaloo, The Blue Duck – Cottesloe, Indiana Tea Rooms – Cottesloe and the Opus Restaurant in the Richardson Hotel – West Perth (also does a great degustation).