It’s a funny thing… when you finally get what you think you want only to find it wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be. I came home one night to find half my house missing … and I cried! But why? Was I crying because he had gone? Was I crying for what coulda, shoulda been? Or was I crying with relief that finally it was over?
I actually think I was crying for all of the above. I was mourning for something that was no longer.
Seeing the empty spaces in my house was a very real visual that he was gone, along with some of my / our stuff. I was sad for what coulda, shoulda been. Why couldn’t he love me? Why couldn’t he support and nurture me? Why couldn’t / didn’t we have stuff in common? Why were we not friends, lovers, confidantes, mates – we should have been? And yes, I was happy – albeit sobbing – with relief that it was finally over, finally done. He had moved out. I could now move on.
I woke the next day feeling exhausted but at peace. I knew I had a choice. I could choose to wallow in sadness or I could embrace the new day as a new beginning and get on with life. I chose the latter and bid farewell to that part of my life. The next few days saw a new energy build in me. I felt happy, and I hadn’t been happy for a long time. I could feel the old me returning; the me with zest and resolve to live the second half of life way different to the first.
This year has been a year of endings; just about everything I knew and did stopped being, it all ended. Overall, the year has been quite stressful so I am more than happy to bid it farewell. So as the year draws to a close I find myself reflecting on the lessons presented and what I learned. I came up with the following which I have called:
- 20 tips to make life more rewarding:
Tip # 1: create and communicate a compelling and shared vision of the future
Tip # 2: make the vision yours by living today as if you have achieved it
Tip # 3: be excited, enthused and optimistic about your vision
Tip # 4: be open to creative problem-solving: think outside the box
Tip # 5: remember feedback is just that; not an excuse to argue
Tip # 6: when holding onto beliefs ask yourself ‘how is that working for me?’
Tip # 7: re-think ideas and problems
Tip # 8: the first sign of insanity is to keep doing the same thing expecting a different outcome
Tip # 9: always ask yourself ‘what role am I playing’ in this situation
Tip # 10: share information, dreams, hopes and concerns always
Tip # 11: let those around you know you appreciate them
Tip # 12: say thank you and I love you often
Tip # 13: smile in the face of adversity, for adversity is only a state of mind
Tip # 14: when moving forward and having to take two steps backward, remember to breathe, and then smile
Tip # 15: ponder all the possibilities amid your potential for it is we, not others that limit us
Tip # 16: Henry Ford once said ‘if you think you can, you will; if you think you can’t, you won’t’
Tip # 17: some see an answer for every problem; others see a problem for every answer
Tip # 18: we are all human beings; we should allow our humans to be
Tip # 19: when life seems difficult, just go with what is
Tip #20: whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it now!
Let me know your thoughts. What was the year like for you, what did you learn?
What a great set of old-year resolutions. So many people I have spoken to have called 2009 their “annus horibilus”, the year that the ride went down hill rather than up. So we had to start pedalling rather than free-wheeling, no drama. Just sorts the leaders from the followers.
If there was just one of these to take into the New Year, make the last one your first – “whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it now”. As a medal-winning procrastinator, this is top of my list for 2010.
So yes, 2009 has been a tough year for me too, both personally and professionally but I am already living the dream for 2010. 2009 was the year that made 2010 the best yet! Believe it!
Thanks, yes I like them. Just seemed to sum it up nicely for me…
I too have encountered many that have found this year tough. So let’s hope the new year brings with it new beginnings and a new zest for life … bring it on!
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