It’s a funny thing… when you finally get what you think you want only to find it wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be.  I came home one night to find half my house missing … and I cried!  In fact I sobbed uncontrollably.  But why was I crying?  Was it because he had gone?  Was I crying for what coulda, shoulda been?  Or was I crying with relief that finally it was over?

I actually think I was crying for all of the above.   I was mourning for something that was no longer.

Seeing the empty spaces in my house was a very real visual that he was gone, along with some of my / our stuff.  I was sad for what coulda, shoulda been.  Why couldn’t he love me?  Why couldn’t he support and nurture me?  Why couldn’t / didn’t we have stuff in common?  Why were we not friends, lovers, confidantes, mates – we should have been?  And yes, I was happy – albeit sobbing – with relief that it was finally over, finally done.  He had moved out.  I could now move on.

I woke the next day feeling exhausted but at peace.  I knew I had a choice.  I could choose to wallow in sadness or I could embrace the new day as a new beginning and get on with life.  I chose the latter and bid farewell to that part of my life.  The next few days saw a new energy build in me.  I felt happy, and I hadn’t been happy for a long time.  I could feel the old me returning; the me with zest and resolve to live the second half of life way different to the first.

This year has been a year of endings; just about everything I knew and did stopped being, it all ended.  Overall, the year has been quite stressful so I am more than happy to bid it farewell.  So as the year draws to a close I find myself reflecting on the lessons presented and what I learned.  I came up with the following which I have called:

 

 

 

 

- 20 tips to make life more rewarding:

Tip # 1: create and communicate a compelling and shared vision of the future

Tip # 2: make the vision yours by living today as if you have achieved it

Tip # 3: be excited, enthused and optimistic about your vision

Tip # 4: be open to creative problem-solving: think outside the box

Tip # 5: remember feedback is just that; not an excuse to argue

Tip # 6: when holding onto beliefs ask yourself ‘how is that working for me?’

Tip # 7: re-think ideas and problems

Tip # 8: the first sign of insanity is to keep doing the same thing expecting a different outcome

Tip # 9: always ask yourself ‘what role am I playing’ in this situation

Tip # 10: share information, dreams, hopes and concerns always

Tip # 11: let those around you know you appreciate them

Tip # 12: say thank you and I love you often

Tip # 13: smile in the face of adversity, for adversity is only a state of mind

Tip # 14: when moving forward and having to take two steps backward, remember to breathe, and then smile

Tip # 15: ponder all the possibilities amid your potential for it is we, not others that limit us

Tip # 16: Henry Ford once said ‘if you think you can, you will; if you think you can’t, you won’t’

Tip # 17: some see an answer for every problem; others see a problem for every answer

Tip # 18: we are all human beings; we should allow our humans to be

Tip # 19: when life seems difficult, just go with what is

Tip #20: whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it now!

Let me know your thoughts.  What was the year like for you, what did you learn?

This entry was posted on Monday, December 28th, 2009 at 3:25 pm and is filed under Communication, Personal discovery. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.