2010 was an interesting year for me; I have called it my *gap year.* A year of just doing whatever as a means to assist in deciding what I want to be when I grow up. I have been using those words for nearly 2 years now so I am thinking it is time to get my act together; it is time to stop treading water and make 2011 the year that I create the life I truly desire.

Feedback… of course… where was your head at? Feedback is so important for us to truly gain a sense of who we are, by validating our view of self through others. Mirror, mirror on the wall; do I see me warts and all? I have been telling this version of the Snow White story for many years now. It is a true story about me. You see I used to look in my mirror and see Snow White. I saw myself as a results-oriented hard worker; a people-person who was fun to be around. What I didn’t see was how others viewed me. To them I was obsessed with work and winning; aggressively task-oriented through driving people; and as for fun, it was on my terms only.

Friday footy certainly brings out the men; usually in packs, almost all decked out in ceremonial colour, holding and waving the ritualistic paraphernalia, AKA – midi of beer. There is nothing more lovable than seeing this play out; dads with their mini me’s, the women (out with their men) that got, very early on in the relationship that true love is about understanding the bond between man and his ritual, the nanna’s and granddads dutifully weaving the second generation into the ritual and the young-uns – male and female – that simply like to mix the vibe of sport with their favourite other sport — drinking; all in all a very special sight to see.

It’s a funny thing… when you finally get what you think you want only to find it wasn’t all that it was cracked up to be. Seeing the empty spaces in my house was a very real visual that he was gone, along with some of my / our stuff. I was sad for what coulda, shoulda been. Why couldn’t he love me? Why couldn’t he support and nurture me? Why couldn’t / didn’t we have stuff in common? Why were we not friends, lovers, confidantes, mates – we should have been? And yes, I was happy – albeit sobbing – with relief that it was finally over, finally done. He had moved out. I could now move on.

Friday night here I come! I had stayed in for the last couple of weeks and was champing at the bit to get out and about. So there I was, standing in a bar in a trendy part of town, chatting and laughing with the girls, eyeing the crowd hoping that someone interesting might be there also, and yup there he was. It’s funny don’t you think, that in a crowded bar there is always that one person that stands out? He certainly had the look; the right physical build, tall and cute with glasses.