Have you ever attended a meeting, information or learning session where you have decided that what is being said is a crock of nonsense? Can you recall how you felt in that situation – apprehensive, angry, frustrated, indignant?

Have you ever considered that situations like these may simply be forcing you out of your comfort zone? 

We all have our comfort zones although, different for each of us.  Sit back, close your eyes and with consciousness, think about how you feel when you choose to, or are forced, to step out of your comfort zone.

Do some, or all of the words in BLUE in the illustration below look and feel familiar to you?

If you have answered yes, then rest assured you are not alone. 

It is common for us all to feel some or all of these emotions when confronted with situations that take us out of our comfort zone.  When we are out of our comfort zone, we hit our TERROR zone and whilst in this zone our feelings manifest into behaviours; and not all of them are positive.  The words in BLUE in the above illustration describe emotions; how we might be feeling.  The words in RED describe the potential resultant behaviours. 

For example, these feelings can provoke different behaviours such as aggression – where we lash out at others; sabotage – where we actively work against the situation being presented; or withdrawal – where we simply do not engage in the process – which can also be seen as sabotage.

So understanding that these feelings are normal is the first part of learning.  The next step is learning how to deal with these emotions whilst in our terror zone, so that they manifest in positive behaviours.

Stephen Covey has a good take on this.  In his writings on the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, he talks about “Between Stimulus and Response” in Habit 1 – Be Proactive. 

In essence he is saying we all experience events that provide some sort of stimuli (like being outside of your comfort zone or having your buttons pushed).  However it is the responses or choices we make when we are stimulated that stand us head and shoulders above the rest.  He is saying that we can choose to to react or we can learn more planned and thoughtful responses.   The choice is in being aware of having choices and that we do not have to defer to the situation or circumstance.  He says the more distance we can put between the stimulus and whether we react or respond, then the more proactive and less reactive we become. 

It is simply the act of acknowledging we are “out of our comfort zone” and reflecting on the emotions we are feeling, that becomes the first step in our learning.  Then, the second step is to move beyond our terror zone and learn to control our emotions to ensure positive behaviours are demonstrated.

So next time you in a meeting, information or learning session, and you are sitting there ‘rolling your eyes’ and grunting that this is a ‘waste of time’ (sabotage) or not participating or being disruptive by challenging everything that is being said – analyse why you are behaving that way?  Is it simply, you are being pushed outside your comfort zone?  If you respond with yes, then your next action is about choice.  You can choose to acknowledge your feelings and own your discomfort and learn and grow or you can choose to stay in your comfort zone and do whatever it is you have always done.

REMEMBER:  there is no comfort in learning and no learning in comfort. 

I recall one of the key components of transformational leadership, being authenticity. The proponent of this leadership theory, Emeritus Professor Bernard Bass suggests that to be truly transformational you need to be true to yourself and others. He says you can still be a transformational leader but without authenticity, you are pseudo transformational. That is, whilst you can be charismatic, inspirational and ideally influential the authentic transformational leader focuses on the greater good, the inauthentic leader emphasises what’s in it for me.

Without authenticity a leader, well actually anyone … could hoodwink others into believing you had their interests at heart when in fact you were simply displaying charismatic qualities whilst leaning on the side of self interest.

It got me thinking where do you draw the line between a little white lie and deception? Is a little white lie equal to deception when it comes to being authentic? How important is it to be authentic?

According to dictionary.com the definition of authentic is not false or copied; genuine; real. The following words are synonyms for authentic – real, honest, ethical, genuine, true. So bring the definition and synonyms together the question is, how important is it to be genuine, real, honest, not false or copied, genuine, true?

As I write this, I am beginning to better understand the complex nature of this topic and the myriad of issues that are subsequently unravelling around me. Authenticity is a values judgement. And of course as human beings, we don’t all hold the same values.

If honesty, is a deeply held value of mine then a white lie is going to be seen as deception. If achievement is someone else’s value and to achieve means spin a yarn to gain the desired outcome then a little white lie is potentially harmless – or is it? If you spin one little white lie, how many more could there be? I am now thinking that the little white lie, no matter what your take on it, is linked to trust. Trust, whether in a business or personal setting is definitely a deal maker or a deal breaker.

I recently met a very nice person who, as it turned out fibbed about their age? And I have got to say, I know of many people who do this, but I am wondering why? Why is it we are not happy to be whom and what we are? Why do we think that a version of us will make us more lovable, enjoyable, employable and acceptable?

And this I believe is the crux of this pondering.

To be authentic means to have consciously studied self and accept where self fits and what self has to offer. Authenticity means being able to look in the mirror and see prince charming or snow white, warts and all; it means seeing and accepting the beauty of what is looking back. It means not having to expend energy on living the version for that becomes exhausting.

To be authentic, is to be real.  It is hard to find good explanation of real in this sense for you not only see real, you feel it.

When you are around authentic people you feel energised; you feed off each other, it is a mutually satisfying experience applicable to the workplace and to life in general.

To be or not to be … is a choice … and I choose to be. 

What about you?

I blogged recently about facilitating an appreciative inquiry; a methodology for identifying all that is working in life, as opposed to focusing on what is not working and looking to problem solve. I can’t stop thinking that even though I understand these concepts, or at least I can intellectualise them, to truly embed them into a way of being is something quite different.

Ken Keys writes -

how soon will you realise that the only thing you don’t have is the direct experience; that there’s nothing you need, that you don’t have?

Abraham Maslow, of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs fame says that we all have levels of need and that only when one level is met can we move onto the next and then through all levels to achieve ‘self actualisation.’

His model is a five-staged approach with the most basic of our needs being physiological. In simplistic terms, this first stage is about life needs, such as food, water and shelter. Once this need is met we then look to be safe and know we have security. This may be work, love, financial security as well as ensuring we are physically safe through living in environments that have law, order and structure. From there we move into family, love, friends, affection and belonging both in a person, professional and community setting. When that need is met we look more inward around personal and professional achievement, status, responsibility and reputation and then the last need transcends all else and is about seeking personal growth and fulfilment and it may or may not be tied to the other needs. Often, at this level we may want to be independent of the world and wish to exist above and apart from material possessions.

Sounds simple? Often however, pursuit of these needs creates the very opposite of the original intent. Where we strive to meet our basic physiological needs we burden ourselves financially which ultimately confines and limits our ability to live life. For example, I may have my house or apartment but my loan repayments are so high I am just surviving, leaving my other needs around social belonging and self esteem un-met. I may be in a soul-destroying job that is providing me with plenty of money to meet my physiological and safety needs, but is so depressing it is having an adverse affect on my social belonging need and not providing me with opportunity to meet my self esteem and self actualisation needs.

What to do? The answer is balance and perspective.

Maslow intended his model to help managers identify that a team member cannot be a team player (level 3) if his house is about to be re-possessed (level 2) and a sales person can’t be
motivated to achieve targets (level 4) when they’re having problems with their marriage (level 3).

It is however, equally useful for determining where we are at in our lives, to help decide how we might want to be doing something different or better.

For me, I am definitely at levels 4 & 5, having many times in the past worked through levels 1 – 3. That is, life for me all is about love (deep, romantic love) and seeking achievement, status, reputation, personal growth and fulfilment. What I have come to realise though, is that in my current state I have confined myself to survival mode at levels 1 & 2 through being tied to a level of money to maintain my current lifestyle. And don’t think I don’t get that last statement is all about my EGO. You see, I have a lifestyle and one that I have potentially linked to my-Self. So, if my lifestyle was to change what would that say about me, what would that do to me?

It begs the question ‘how many of us see ourselves as the job we do, or the level of money we earn, or the status trappings we have; the flash car (s), the big house, the bigger toys, the bling, the holidays.” This mindset I think, keeps us in level 3 of Maslow’s hierarchy, and not always for the right reasons.

So in order for me to follow my dreams, live my passion and find my mojo, I have come to the realisation that I need to let go of my EGO, and in doing so re-think my lifestyle. This may be temporary or it may be permanent, I don’t know yet but the one thing I do know is, if I don’t do something different, I will just keep getting the same.

I have decided when I wake up tomorrow, I will put into play some strategies that will support my endeavours to realise ‘self-actualisation’ and have faith that the choices I make will support my future and my mojo will return, double-strength. I have everything I need; I just need to re-arrange how it is presented. Here’s to tomorrow.

Be afraid of nothing –
you have within you
all wisdom
all power
all strength
all understanding
~ Eileen Caddy

Just when I thought I was starting to see light at the end of the tunnel, bam! I get a huge jolt to the core of my very being by having my stable monthly source of income terminated. It was on the cards but I had it on good authority, or so I thought that I had until the end of the year before it would actually eventuate. So to have it happen almost out of the blue and so soon has sent me into a huge spin and left me feeling extremely fragile. So what does a grown woman do, when she is feeling like this? Well, sulk… of course!

I realise that this is not life threatening, not for me anyway. I am able to rationally think through situations like these and plot a path of recovery. But that is not to say, I can’t wallow in self pity, sulk, feel sorry for myself and whinge about the situation; all of which I did with my colleague and friend in Melbourne.

I want my solo life and for that to happen the EX and I need to resolve our financials. I have put the house on the market for sale and removed it; I have put the house into the corporate leasing market and removed it also. So just when I had reconciled myself to staying in the house and enjoying it as I intended when I embarked on the renovations a couple of years back, I suddenly find myself in the predicament of not having a guaranteed source of income. This is pretty amazing, as I have never been in this situation ever, so it begs the question “why now?”

You would have heard me say on many occasions “I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up” so I think perhaps that this is the universe saying to me ‘well, if you can’t figure it, we’ll push you along and insist you start finding your way.’

I have become a big fan, or perhaps a better description is, addict of Twitter. Twitter is a messaging, come networking tool that allows you to stay connected with people (your followers) on-line. You tweet short messages, no longer than a 140 characters as frequently as you like, providing updates of what you are thinking or doing.

So I tweeted:

 “When one door shuts, another opens – right? So… Ok… I’m waiting.”

I am wondering if this is the start of my new life. That perhaps today is the day I will find the courage to embark on the life I am passionate about. I am not yet sure exactly what that passion is, although I do have an inkling, and perhaps any moment now I will gain that clarity?

Again, I tweeted:

 “Today is the first day of the rest of my new life; my mojo awaits.”

I have had two significant relationships end in a very short space of time; first, my long term personal relationship and now my six year client relationship. I am pondering ‘what is this about’ and potentially I think it is about having faith that what is happening right now is the right thing to happen and whilst I am feeling fragile I simply need to go with what is. My words are almost prophetic. A couple of weeks back I wrote on my Facebook Wall: ‘When life seems confusing, just go with what is.’ And here I am feeling fragile and trying to hold the faith that what is… is OK.

Having said that, as I sat back of room in the last workshop I will be facilitating for the client, I pondered my position, opened my notebook and wrote:

Time to get my shit together…

I am a writer, on-line marketer and business entrepreneur.
I can only fail, if I give up.

Do this:

1. Embark on BIG marketing campaign around all Lifelong Learning product and services
2. Build a focus on wellness / wellbeing
3. Learn to use the Business Contact Manager in Microsoft Office
4. Schedule public courses as part of brand building and marketing

John Demartini in his book ‘The breakthrough experience’ talks of acting now as if you have achieved your dream. He says articulate your vision through a model of BE – DO – HAVE. That is, what is it you want to be? How are you going to do that? And what will you have as a result of achieving this?

So for me:

BE:     

I am a WRITER; a syndicated writer for a column or piece in a newspaper or magazine; an author of books.

DO:            

Sell, hawk, tout my wares to newspapers, magazines, publishers; create a BIG on-line presence and find an agent.

HAVE:     

Freedom… to pursue life.

I am wondering when this comes to be, if I will look back and say thank you to the client for terminating my contract and pushing me to finally find my mojo?

Einstein made the comment:

It is the first sign of insanity to keep doing the same thing hoping for a different outcome.

I have just been involved in a two-day workshop geared for world-class presenters and was reminded of the amount of background technique, method, content and context required to truly set participants on fire and ensure learning and behavioural change occurs. Why am I telling you this? Because I don’t believe the average person realises just how much work goes into making a workshop a memorable learning experience and I certainly don’t believe that the majority of the holders of the Certificate IV workplace training qualification get this either?

It seems that in order to provide workplace training of any sorts today, it is obligatory if not mandatory to hold the Certificate IV in Training and Assessment (TAA). So this qualification has become a ‘must have’ in industry and in parallel with this need, the intent of the qualification has become diluted. My colleagues and I talk about this all the time. If we all had a dollar for the amount of times we have heard participants or potential trainers say ‘I just want the piece of paper’ we would all be extremely wealthy. And unfortunately this is exactly what has happened. In the quest to provide the piece of paper, industry is churning out very ordinary trainers, trainers who have no concept of engaging the learner, trainers who have no idea how to structure a piece so that it is clear to the learner what they are learning, trainers who use death by PowerPoint and over load the learner with useless and too much information.

Learning can be overt and learning can be subtle. Sometimes the best learning occurs not by what is being said but by what is not being said. How many trainers know what NOT to say? How many trainers are comfortable with silence? How many trainers provide their learners with an environment that is conducive for them to learn? How many trainers even know how their learners learn?

The Certificate IV in Training and Assessment, the Australian Qualifications Framework and the Australian Quality Training Framework have all been designed to meet a need; a workplace / industry need and workplaces and industries have embraced this framework with gusto – but is it working?

I hang out a lot in the mining sector. This is one industry that has seemingly embraced the framework and sends all their operator trainers on TAA programs. The training departments within most of these mining organisations talk about the AQTF, build their job descriptions, training plans and training matrices around the metalliferous mining competencies and create assessments designed to determine if operators and others within the business are competent to do their jobs: sounds magnificent, feels robust and looks rigorous, but is it?

Mining companies have an added reason to embrace this framework and that is safety. It is legislated within the Mines Safety Inspections Act (MSIA) Regulation 4.13 that all persons working on a mine site will have adequate instruction and training in safety procedures, systems of work and in the tasks required of the employee; they will be assessed before commencing work at the mine; they will be retrained and reassessed whenever systems of work or plant and equipment change; records are made of any instruction, training, retraining, assessment or reassessment and those records will be kept for a minimum of 2 years after the record is made.

So Section 4.13 provides a compelling reason for mining companies to embrace this training and assessment framework and build and support a world class training system. Sadly, this does not happen. Let’s unpack that last sentence; sadly – this – does – not – happen. I am sure by now many reading this blog are feeling quite indignant that I should make such a comment. But that is the point. I so understand that for all intents and purposes it appears that many, if not all companies within industries have what they would feel is a robust training and assessment system. However, this becomes extremely diluted because the same companies focus on the parts that are not truly important. They focus on the paperwork, on the record keeping, on meeting policy and legislative frameworks and audits; they focus on the parts of training that do not affect cultural or behavioural change forgetting that the only reason we train people is to influence the way they do the job aligned to best or world practice.

So given that I have done my hours, given that I have been operating in this field for many years, I feel my opinion is worthy of listening along with industry statistics (workers compensation and the number of injuries and deaths) that suggest whatever the mining industry is doing currently, is not working. So my question is, given we all know it is not working, why then are organisation’s not doing anything different?

It reminds me of that quote:

If we continue to do what we have always done, we will continue to get what we have always got.

So we churn out trainers that have a piece of paper, yet do not have basic understanding of pedagogy. We have trainers that have a piece of paper, yet cannot tell you about the Australian Qualifications Framework (AQF), because if they could, then they would know that there is really no need for them to have the TAA if they are not issuing a qualification and many, if not most mining organisation’s do not. We have trainers that have a piece of paper that suggest they can assess the competence of others, yet they cannot tell you what the principles of assessment are or the rules of evidence?

If the trainers that hold the qualification understood just these three (3) key principles then I would agree… it would be likely that the organisation would have a robust training and assessment system. But when the fundamentals are missing is it any wonder we have a less than second rate training system that supports the suggestion ‘you got your qualification out of a weetie packet.’

So here is the thing: for learning to occur, for the adult learner to be engaged and fired up about learning, for cultural and behavioural change to occur and people remain safe, we need to go Beyond Cert IV and ensure our trainers get that training is not just an event that our punters show up to and sign appropriate bits of paper, it is about an outcome. It is about visibly seeing a shift in participants after the event and that shift, adds value back to the individual and the business.